Ode to the Cold that WILL NOT DIE!!!!!!!

Okay, I am a really big "take your vitamins so you won't get sick" sort-of girl. I've been very faithful in that regard. However, I got the cold that would not die. I can say it started on October 25th, a day after I hung out with our friends who happened to have a baby getting over a cold. I held him a lot and I think he dripped his sippy cup into my Barcardi/Juice. For 3 days I had a hellish sore throat and cough. I did go to the doctor and they prescribed a Z-pack. Thankfully, I eluded the strep virus once again. By the way, never, ever google images of strep. You with wish you hadn't.

So it's November 21st, 4 weeks after first being infected. I've had the nagging cough, nasal discharge, and sneezing. I know I can chuck a lot of it up to allergies, but this is ridiculous. Jason started getting the funk a few days ago, which only re-infected me. I had all these lustrous plans to shop my Saturday afternoon away at Ikea. I only stayed in bed and took cold medicine and drank tea.

I also took the time to make a killer Peanut butter and Jelly Pie from the Publix flier this week. Absolutely to die for, if I might add. Never mind that it has a million grams of fat per slice. It's totally worth it. My only gripe is that the flier did not specify what size graham cracker crust to get. I got an 8" at Aldis. It wasn't until I layer my second layer of yummy peanut butter/condensed milk/ coolwhip/ cream cheese mixture that I realized my pie would be over flowing. I made such a mess, but the pie was salvage-able.

My whole body is so numb this weekend from the large amount of rest I've received. I am almost too tired to go to sleep, if that makes any sense. Jason said it would be good for me to rest this weekend since I have been running full speed for the last few months. We both have. After weekends of visiting family, Jason giving several public talks, and other dramas, it has taken a toll on our bodies. He recently had to go to the doctor for a chronic eye twitch. I told him it happens when you get stressed, but he wanted a professional opinion. I gave him mine, but I guess I should have charged him a co-pay. Now the doctor wants him to get bloodwork and go see a specialist. Talk about milking people for their insurance. Isn't our medical system great?

Life is What you Make it......Really?

Lots of things have been going on in the world around me. I send my regards to those who are suffering in Haiti. It amazes me how destructive earthquakes can be. Tragedies on a large scale, indeed. Some of my friends around me are dealing with personal tragedies. Health scares, relationship problems, personal demons. There is no shortage. It is all the sign of the times, I am afraid. I seriously have them in my thoughts and my prayers.

It also gives me a chance to look at my own life and contemplate how I view life and those around me. Can I personally say that I am making the best use of my life? I always strive to give Jehovah and my family my all. It can be hard to be focused on what is so important in these hard times. No one seems to be immune to difficulties. I guess it is so vital to put selfishness aside. Selfishness is the core of any trouble within any relationship, whether it be in marriage, friendship, employment. Blah, blah, blah.

We have done some remodeling at work. We switched from old fashioned manual radiograph processing to digital. Yes, it is death to the dip tanks. I hate those things. I could have gone through my whole life without smelling developer and fixer. It is the worse smell ever. We ripped those tanks out and installed shelving. It was both fun and tiring to organize all of our supplies. It has inspired me to redesign my closet. It's not a needed thing at the moment, but I will plan to do a little at a time to make the most use of my closet space.

I saw my friend Gillian yesterday. She and her husband adopted a beautiful orange cat from the pound. My new nephew. >^..^< Ha!

Anyway, I guess my realization to to stick to Jehovah. Stick close to your mate. Work hard at your job. Keep your nose clean and don't gossip. Everything you'd read in the latest magazines. Just trying to apply it. That's the hard part.

Perception

"When the doors of perception are cleansed, everything will appear to man as it truly is: infinite." -- William Blake

"We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are." Anais Nin

I've been extemely sad for the last week. Certain people have perceived certain untrue things about me. It is hard to understand why. Instead of just coming to me, they just propagate the very untrue perception of me. Jason has been great at defending me. It has helped a lot. It has also been a humbling experience. It helps me to see what I could personally do to improve myself and also to not take myself too seriously. This has been a challenge.

Sigh......

How is it so that certain family members can get under your skin? I ask myself this after this passing weekend. It wasn't a totally bad experience, but I would not want to relive it. I was glad I was able to spend some time with Lindsey. It is always nice to go to Ikea, even if I wan dying to leave a little earlier.

Didn't go to pioneer school. I was slightly disappointed but will save the joy for next summer. I think my work was happy that I didn't have to miss work. They were disappointed for me, but they would miss my smiling face:) I am so sure.

It is good to get life back to normal. I actually have 3 regular studies this week. I am glad to have a refuge from the heat of the summer.

Restlessness

I hate when I am restless. It is a feeling that makes me feel useless. I have so many things to do and I don't have the organization or the motivation to do them. I blame my current restlessness on my recent vacation. Well, I was spoiled for 6 days. The routine of going back to work and home life is good to go back to. Very stabilizing. Who can live weeks on end having someone cook and clean up after you and remain normal?

I have so many projects going on in my head. I want to get back into scrap booking. I am going to put my herb garden together this week. I am going to get the herbs tomorrow at the Lowes when I go to the bank tomorrow. My yard is such a mess. I want to do more photography. See, just so many things. Not enough hours in the day.

I killed my bamboo plant. How do expect to grow herbs?

It rained a lot today. We needed it. It's all that could happen to keep the state from turning into an inferno.

I cleaned out my spare room and office today. Have 2 nice sized bags that will go to Lindsay's yardsale, whenever that happens. It is neat how rearranging pictures and vacuuming a room can do a world of good. David and Robin will be staying with us next weekend. I think we'll be grilling out on Saturday after service.

I gave Harlem a bath yesterday. I am not a fan of bathing cats, but he really needed one. He was relatively good for the bath. He really pranced around after the bath. His bushy tail was swaying back and forth. Jason and I refer to it as the "Swiffer" tail. He knew he looked good.

Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?

The joys of taking care of a husband with the flu........There are so many. I am starting to get achy and tired just thinking about it.

Delivery is the Key

I have a weakness for anything on the artsy side. I love museums, art galleries, musicals, symphonies. But then, there is the side of me that will watch TMz and pour over Perez Hilton's blog for the latest gossip from Hollywood. I am such a gossip junkie. I wonder how my two sides co-exist.

I have really been watching and dissecting this whole Caylee Anthony thing. It really upsets me. Two days ago, they tentatively found her remains. It still isn't definitive if they are positively her remains, but the odds are that they are. It so upsets me that this person, the mother of this child, has led the police, her parents, and the American public, on a wild goose chase to find her daughter. Hoping, wishing, deluding, any moment we would find this bright little 3 year old safe. I don't want to believe that she is dead, but when the FBI says "you're dead", uh, you're dead.

I know a lot of it boils down to this young mother not wanting to be a young mother. She wanted to party, to live her own life, a life without the restraints of a child. It is sad that her mother convinced her to have this baby and not let HER make the decision to give it up for adoption. I don' think that is the only issue her. I know plenty of very young mothers, and fathers for that fact, who step up and take the responsibility to be a parent in the capacity that they can. Sure, it means sacrifice. It means giving up a lot. But that is your lot when you decide to conceive a child. Your life is a little less yours than it was in the beginning.

I don't understand Casey's whole way of going about it, unless she just wanted to get back at her mother and hurt her in the worst way she could by getting rid of the child so she couldn't have it. There is no telling. But to boldly go partying and living the single life while your daughter is dead is just plain evil. I know in some capacity, she is crazy. Anyone who can justify killing someone else is crazy in my book. But I think she knew what she was doing. She knew enough to lie, conspire and bend the truth in a thousand different ways, that we didn't come across Caylee's little (alleged) remains that were hidden just blocks from the place she called home.

Why? How could you do this? When there are so many people who want a little girl just like Caylee to love? I don't think any punishment could ever fit the crime.

It is so true that pride is an ugly thing. Narcissist are the worst. And Casey is the perfect description of a narcissist.

Ok, that is my rant on this whole thing. Hopefully, this whole community will get closure soon.

I'm So Proud of Myself.

I know, I know, pride before a crash, but really I've done a lot of work in my yard. I wish the same thing could be said about my master bath. I would love to dunk Martin's head in the toilet right now, if it were attached to the plumbing. It greatly incenses me more that he is leaving for (gasp) Puerto Rico and I don't think my bathroom will get finished until he comes back. That will explain why I would like to dunk his head in the toilet.

But, enough about him. I mulched the new bed and I had an iris bloom. Sure, it was only a single solitary iris, but she was beautiful. Must upload the pictures. I extended another bed and put Jason's grill on it's own slab that I laid. I even bought him a cover for the grill. I can finally park on my car port. What an odd thought.

Today is going to be stormy. It is sad that i need to be out is service but the weather is going to be bad. I hope I can at least make it out for the morning.

I am burning lavender and vanilla incense. It so reminds me of happy memories. Isn't it crazy how certain smells can make you think of patches of time. Sometimes, you wish that certain sense wouldn't work. This is a good smell in my book. Happy times.

Work is steady, for the most part. Everyone in this area is crying over the economy. Jason's hours were cut. It was to be expected before he changes divisions. I am sure he'll be happy when that happens.

Our pioneer meeting with the elders is this weekend. Those are always well needed. I always enjoy the encouragement and then the dinner afterward. So nice.

Sleep is a Delicious Thing.

I really caught up on a little sleep time yesterday. For all of the people that know me, I love my sleep. I have also battled a cold and some sort of intestinal thing for the last 3 weeks and week, consecutively. I also had to work and had a boat load of company in my house. I have been a real crab. I have to admit that I got in a minor fight with my husband on Friday night, and drove the rest of my company home early. It was really nothing. They couldn't decide if they were going to leave then or the following morning. I sort of made the decision for them. Hahahah.

Yesterday, I went in my bedroom at about 6 pm. I watched tv, read my new book, and went to bed at about 8 o clock. It was soooooo nice. To finally catch up on sleep and feel rested. There is nothing like it in the world.

If only I could get rid of this cough.....Annoying as hell.

More Dramz at the work place.......

sooooooooo, do you really want to know what happens when a lot of cranky underpaid women work together? You end up with a little thing called drama. Most people who know me know that I am very easygoing. I pretty much go with the flow and do what is asked of me. The only time I get annoyed is when people but their nose into my business or try to run the show when it is not their concern. Not everyone I work with is as laid back as I am. There is the rub. NOW, there is tension. I am not naming names. I just wish I could just go to work and be done with it.

I don't want to act like nothing bothers me or that I am a perfect employee. I have my own idiosyncratic mayhem that I do inflict on people. That could really drive someone up the wall. I do tend to talk a lot when I should shut up. I do stick my foot in my mouth. I do tend to be lazy every once in a while. Sue me. At least I don't make it a habit. I come to work and get what I am suppose to do done. I guess I view it as a means to an end and it doesn't control me. I can't say the same thing for others. I really can't say what makes other people tick. I really don't care, either.

I am just going to enjoy this weekend and have another glass of the San Sebastian Vintner's white.

Happy "Talk Like a Pirate Day"

Read Wil Wheaton's blog... It truly is funny.


listening to: The Hours- Narcissus Road

Where will I find an extra $16,500?

That is an estimate of how much a newborn child will cost you the first year of their life. Crazy, huh? I just read this article in the new issue of Elle magazine. The article was written by a woman plagued with the decision to have or not to have kids. It was a strictly secular view, but she made some really good points. Having a kid is really also a financial decision. Most women, many I know personally, only view having children as filling emotional or physical need. Not that there is anything wrong with having children for that reason. The article brought out that most people don't look at the decision with dollars and cents (or sense) $16,500 the first year. I am thinking seriously about just getting another cat.

People with children are twice as likely as their childless counterparts to file for bankruptcy or have a foreclosure on their house. The writer also talked about the option of moving in with her parents. They even did an experimental "baby fund" to curve spending to see if they were serious about sacrificing the luxuries in life to have a child. They totally caved.

I think the writer is in the same boat I find myself in. I love children. I would love to be a mother. I just don't see it being financially possible with what my husband and I make. It wouldn't be fair to us or a child. Thats surpasses any desire I may have. In addition, where would I have time to raise a child? I just don't think I could do it. There are a lot of people who say, "If you wait until you have the perfect circumstances to have a baby (or to get married) it will never happen." Hey, that is fine with me. I don't have to have a child to feel completed, fulfilled or satisfied as a woman. That may sound a little selfish, but it is really not. Who says that children are naturally the next step. I believe that not everyone is cut out to be a parent. Just as I feel that marriage isn't for everyone. I think it takes a lot of courage to go against the grain and do different from the crowd.

I know my anti-baby rant has gone on long enough.

On the lighter note, The Affair of the Necklace was a great jewel of a movie.

This Day is a Purple Monkey, for real ya'll!!

I am having the weirdest week ever. It is the week after the convention. I am so pumped after the convention. We have the c.o. visit as well. Plus, we had the storm that wrecked havoc and foolishness on my yard. Yes, I am still picking up branches. I am so tired and worn out. I am two years passed having a vacation. My brain is literally melting. It is coming out of ears.

My eye turned bright red today. The product of being too tired last night and sleeping in my contacts. I know, naughty, naughty. It really is a bad habit. A habit i got out of unless i am just too dang tired, which I am. It totally ruined my service plans, because I had to come home and take them out and was not able to drive. I did get to go to Evalyn's dinner. It was great. Turkey plus cake equal nap time.

I have been having interesting dreams with interesting accompanying thoughts. I think it is also a product of no sleep. They seem so real, but I don't know why I ponder over these things time and time again. What was in the past is in the past. I can't change it and make it any better or any worse, for that matter.

Time is a healer, but it is also a hell of a beautician.

My life has such a unique cast of characters. I sometimes spy on other people's blogs. Those with better computer skills than I, know who you lucky people are. I sometimes think I have the boring monotonous life. I really don't. I do what I love to do. I don't have to work numerous hours just to pay for all the things I don't need. I sort of like my job and the people I work with. Not all the time, and esp. not at this point and juncture. People at work, you know who you are, can be annoying and nosy.

I look back at my life when maybe I didn't have all the things I needed. Maybe I didn't make the right decisions. Maybe I was a little blinded by stupidity. Do I have the wisdom never to make those stupid blunders again? Would I use what know now and save myself from the pain of ignorantly trusting my heart? I hope so.

I am a little sentimental right now. A friend of mine is going through a tough time with a separation from her husband. I thought they have it all. What went wrong? I have always heard, if you have ever loved someone, in any capacity, that love never really goes away. It may just take another shape. For her sake, I hope she realizes how true that statement is.

I could ramble on and on about all the little thoughts that pop into my head.

Moski's visit has been great. The service meetings really help me to see the need to use the reasoning book as the "mini Bible encyclopedia"

Office Space printer Scene

Warning: Profanity in this clip. If easily offended, turn off volume. Still really really funny

I hate my printer.

If you are in the market for a printer, DO NOT, repeat, DO NOT buy an epson. They suck ink like you would imagine. If ink was alcohol, my printer would be an alcoholic. Plus, if you run out of one cartridge, it won't let you print. That is my problem today. Must get my husb.'s highlights outlined printed out, but I need a stupid yellow and magenta cartridge before I can print it. I am not even using color and it won't let me print.

I'm feeling an Office Space moment coming on.......

The Usual Tuesday.

I think sometimes I get too far into a rut. I guess I am really a lot like my dad; a creature of some habit. I do like my list of things to do. That's where Christina says I am definitely Monica from Friends. I like taking my ocd to the next level. I saw the pilot of Friends last night, actually. Brought back a lot of late 90's memories. Ah, my teen years.

I saw I Love the New Millennium. I don't know why I love those pop culture shows. Definitely gives me a sense of nostalgia. I completely forgot about Billy Bass.

So back with me and my lists. They really help. But I still ignore the big things I have to do, like file for homestead and renew my passport. I may be ocd, but I love to procrastinate.

Blog spying again...

I was kind of sad yesterday. I found out 2 of my friends from high school are either separated or divorced. Plus, there are kids involved. It just makes me want to cry. For both parties, I know they have had a lot of stress and health problems. I don't know if they are going through some other crisis, but I just felt helpless for their situation.

My one friend had this little poem posted on her myspace page about losing your identity when you become someone's wife or mother. Maybe that is true in a sense, but I feel I am still the crazy individual I was before I changed my last name. I am still the same person who is OCD, obsessed with my cat, can't live without chocolate, hates grasshoppers, and loves my friends and family. Maybe I just don't get it. I am not here to judge. I really don't know what is going on. It's true that you don't really know what is going on in a relationship unless you are one of the two parties.

My brother has a friend with a daughter who is 2 1/2 years old. Her mother just abandoned her to live with her father. My mom was discussing with me how much of the philosophy of women's liberation also justifies leaving your role as a mother to fulfill your personal needs. I say to those who believe that: "Grow the hell up. You are an adult. You threw your personal pursuits away the day you laid down and conceived a child. Your life is no longer yours. You have given part of your life to that child. Now you have the sole responsibility as a parent to fulfill that obligation. It's not society's role to be a parent. It's yours. Deal with it. Or be like me and "just say no" to parenthood. It's a simple as that."

Just to clear things up, both of my friends are ,in my eyes, excellent parents. They give everything and anything for their kids. I think that is beautiful. I just wish I knew what was going on with their relationships with their spouses. I guess I should quit spying on their blogs and call. Then I'd know

Not as fast as I used to be....

I spent the day after service with Evalyn, Elaine, and little Lyssie in Orlando on Tuesday. We had to hit up some Vietnamese food at Little Saigon before going to the Korean Market. I tried something different for a change. I had the soup with rice noodles and seafood. To tell the truth, it was a little bland until I put the red pepper in it. I think I'll go back to the chicken and rice with napa cabbage that I usually get.

We went next door to the Vietnamese market and I threatened to throw Lyssie in the barrel with the crayfish. "No, I don't want to go swimming with crabs." I almost threatened her again when she made me chase her through Woo Sung's in my heels. Yes, I'm not as fast as I used to be, especially in heels.

Debary congregation is meeting with us for the next month. We are going to be so packed on Sunday. It will be nice to have a full audience for my talk next week. Speaking of that, I need to get cracking on it.

I am so glad Evalyn is not moving. Not only is she my pipeline to kimchi, I would really miss her. OC just wouldn't be the same without her.

Back to training new employees.....ugh. At least Tabitha knows what she is doing and seems to be a good worker. Now, Jeremy isn't going to leave or vet school until the end of July. He only has to go to the campus in Gainesville one Wednesday a week. Not that I'm trying to get rid of him or anything. Another new girl is also trying to get into vet school. She seems really nice. But, she doesn't have much small animal experience outside of fish and some wildlife. "How does bathing a cat go?" "Depends on how the cat feels about a bath. Usually not good, but there are exceptions." 30 minutes later, I had a cat try to eat me because he didn't want a bath. I am one day going to learn to keep my mouth shut.

My monthly bout of insomnia reveals to me.....

Due to hormones (or stress, I can't differentiate) I get insomnia. I can't sleep. I have to get out of bed, get myself a drink of water, do some pilates-like moves, and eventually end up falling asleep to a movie as I lay on the couch.

It happened to me like that last night. I got up at about 1 and tossed for half an hour. I got up and laid on the couch as I watched the movie "In America." It was pretty good, only I will have to watch it again. I fell asleep before it was over. The t.v. was still on as I've dosed off.

It wasn't until 3 in the morning that I woke up and realized that the t.v. was still on. Before that, though, my dreams got incorporated with what was on the t.v. I got up and realized that I listened through an hour long infomercial selling vibrators...err...back massagers. I couldn't believe it. It was just like QVC for the horny. Can I say that? Very disturbing. So....if anyone wants to know WHAT they advertise on Oxygen after 2 pm, there you go.

A Very Special Day

As you know, it is the Memorial of Christ's Death. It is such a important time to reflect on what is important and show appreciation. We had such a nice day in field service. I really didn't get to speak with any of my return visits. No one wanted to be home today. It was nice to be with such a great group of friends.

We are traveling with the Dougherty's to the assembly hall tonight. I think Katelynn and someone from Japan is coming with us. After, we are going back to their house. Time to make brownies. Who am I kidding? It's always time for brownies. We are suppose to have a speaker from Nicaragua this evening. What a treat.

My sister may be losing her job. My brother got laid off. It is tough to see family members going through hard times. I hope I was encouraging to them. Sometimes, I don't know what to say.

St. Augustine is next weekend. I am counting the days to relax. I have been wound up too tight for too long. I need to decompress. Stress will do that to you. Speaking of stress, I am stressed out with Sprint. Since when do I have time to text message everyone? Sprint says I've text messaged over 33 times last month. I don't think so.....I know that doesn't sound a lot to others, but seriously, I never text message anyone. Not unless it is an emergency. Or I get suckered into an unwanted text conversation. And to anyone who does that to me, please call me. I'd rather hear your voice. A text message is so lame. If you don't want to talk, leave me alone. There, I said it.

Jason got the coolest watch for an anniversary present today. He bought it, but I gave him permission. It is killer sweet. Plus, he got 50 bucks off the price.

Ikea

I had my first experience in Ikea. I love what I bought. I got everything I wanted at a good price. I think I'll shop Ikea online from now on. I felt like I took a trip to Disneyworld, only no rides and no parades. It was like a big crazy home goods amusement park witout the amusement. It took me 2 hours from start to finish and from what I hear, that is record time. By the time I got to the furniture, my head was pounding. I will be posting before and after shots of my spare room when I finish. I think it will be awesome. Everyone will want to be a guest at my house:)